Empty as a pocket

Thursday, February 22, 2007 | 8 comment(s)

I don't know how women do it.

If I didn't have 3 pockets in each and every pair of pants I own, I would be lost.
A wreck. A disorganized wreck.

Below is a blue-print of what I keep on my body (in my pockets) at all times
(in case you want to rob me, though please don't):

Left-front pocket:
  • keys
  • cash
    Scary details
    ...folded in half, ordered from smallest bill on the outside to largest bill on the inside, and all bills with the same orientation. A friend who used to work at a bank once told me that this was called "bank faced" but I couldn't find any support for this phrase on the internets.

  • a vial of OneTouch test strips
  • a lancet device
    My beloved Accu-chek Softclix, lancet device, specifically.

  • a pen (sometimes two)

Right-front pocket:
  • OneTouch Ultra glucometer
  • a tube of glucose tabs (grape flavored)
  • loose change (and yes, occasionally ordered from largest coin to smallest coin)

Left-Rear pocket:
  • my wallet (a bi-fold, black leather wallet, that I try to keep thin -- no Costanza wallet for me)

Right-Rear pocket:
Usually empty, but occasionally holds:
  • plastic bags for picking up after Jorge
  • a bottle of beer at a concert or other social setting
  • bottle caps (so I can keep track of how many beers I've had)
  • grocery lists (though (much to Megan's chagrin) I prefer to just try and remember everything rather than make a list)
  • directions to whereever I'm going

Sometimes I think I'm slightly autistic.
Other times I feel like Dennis the Menace.

The nice thing about this is I rarely misplace things, like my keys.
They're either on my bedside table, in my backpack, or in my left-front pocket.
It's a system.
It works.

Though it's funny.
Occasionally I reach for my keys in my left pocket, and they're not there.
I panic a little. Then I find them in my right pocket.
Little moments like these are when I think I'm losing it.
Crazy, I know.

So pockets are important to me.

I like fob pockets, too.
(Though I don't usually use them -- I just like calling them fob pockets.)
Oh, and I while I like pants that have a little change pocket inside the pocket, it's only in these pants, and right in these "pocket pockets", that I get holes that I have to patch up with an iron-on patch. It's also particularly nice that these little change pockets are always located in the front-right pocket -- where I like to keep my change.

Depth, is especially important.
Too shallow, and things either just buldge up on my thigh, or they constantly fall out when I sit down. Too deep, and it can be hard to fish stuff out. I have a pair of corduroys that have pockets that are too deep. Whenever I reach in for something, either my medic alert bracelet or my watch gets snagged on the top of the pocket. Very frustrating.

All this yammering about pockets has a point (sort of).

Last night my lancet device fell out of my pocket.
My beloved Accu-check Softclix lancet device is sitting on the floor in the penultimate row of the Verizon Center (I was at an ice hockey game last night, and we had nose-bleed seats).

Easily the second
First Place
First place went to the OneTouch Ultra and UltraSmart meters I switched to. I know that I've read complaints about the Ultra and the UltraSmart, but believe me, changing from the OneTouch Profile to anything is life-changing.

The Profile required a liter of blood and took 45 seconds for a reading. 45 seconds! If I'm testing 12 times a day, that's an extra 8 minutes/day that I'm picking up in free time! AND that's an extra 2920 minutes/year! That's more than 2 days of time savings! I have NO idea what took me so long to upgrade my meter. I'm still kicking myself.

best diabetes-related upgrade I made in 2006.

Seriously, I love these lancet devices.

The Accu-check Multiclix is far more popular than the Softclix, but because they have a drum of lancet devices in there "so you don't have to change them as frequently,"
As if
Since I'm one (of the many) who change their lancet once a year (if at that), and I don't have a whole lot of germ-phobias, the Multiclix just doesn't make any sense to me.

the Multiclix is a bit bigger. Small and compact are where it's at for me (it needs to fit nicely in my pocket, mind you). And that it's a breeze to use, is quieter than most other lancet devices I've used, and is actually less painful than any other device I've used is an all-around boon for me.

Last time this happened, I went looking for another Softclix. They're surprisingly hard to find. The Multiclix is on practically every pharmacy shelf, though. And get this: Both the Multiclix and the Softclix sell for $29.99. BUT the Accu-chek Active meter sells for $19.99, AND COMES WITH A Softclix! Needless to say, I bought the meter and have never used it once.

I'm hoping I can find another one of these things around.
Though I'm guessing that I'll have to buy another Accu-chek Active meter that I'll never use. If anyone would like one of these, I'll be more than happy to send it along.

8 Comment(s):

Blogger Scott K. Johnson said...

Hey Kevin!

I love your posts. They are always such a blast to read. I just love uncovering the hidden details in your sidebar thingys, and in general just get a kick out of reading your stuff.

Highly entertaining to me. I'm hoping that it speaks highly of you, and not lowly of me. Does that make sense?

When it comes to my pockets, I too have a system, and therefore completely related to this post.

Have you checked e-bay? Not sure if you could find it there, but it's got to be worth a shot. Though you're likely to pay more than the meter's cost in "shipping & handling" (otherwise known as "I'll start the bidding ridiculously low and recoup my costs in something called 'shipping & handling'").

I "donated" a multiclix to the Root River on a late season kayaking trip last fall. I was bummed and also had to pick up a meter/lancet device combo pack to get another one. There's a post begging to happen on that one, just haven't brought it out yet.

I bet you could call the center and ask about their lost & found. Not sure of the logistics of it all, whether a trip back there would be worth it or not, but it's an idea...

I bet the cleaning crew would turn something like that in. I mean, what are they gonna do - keep it for their personal use? I know there's this whole "epidemic" thing going on, but c'mon now...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I actually find 33 gauge lancets for my BD lancet device (which came with my pump and which I am now in love with because the 33 gauge lancets you don't even FEEL) you can have my Softclix. As an extra to keep around. I promise. I hate the damn thing now that I'm forced to use it. Yes, I have a ridiculous germ phobia and like to change my lancets, and since I haven't been able to find an f*$%in' Duane Reade in NYC that carries BD lancets I'm back to using the Softclix. I also have about 600 lancets stockpiled, which, of course, would last you about 600 years ;)

Blogger Michko said...

I'm all for a system (I even have my own), but what about a fanny pack? Since I'm a chick I can get away with carrying luggage around with all my supplies and other worldly stuff. But I know guys don't want the man-purse look. A fanny pack could give you one place for all your goods w/o fear of losing something.

Blogger Zazzy said...

I enjoy your posts, too. You need a man purse. Why don't men carry purses more often? They're very handy. :)

I never knew there was such a difference in lancets. I know that walmart's brand of lancet refills are awful but does the lancet device really make such a difference?

Blogger jill. said...

WOW, I've never thought so much about pocket structure before! Perhaps you should invest in a "man purse"? (Although you seem to have quite a system going..)

I recently took the plunge and got a multiclix (because I have the extra purse space :)) I have TWO softclixs that I don't use and I'd be willing to give them up. Email me if you want them.

I have two colors: a bright vibrant blue and a duller, more subtle blue. Depending on your mood, of course...

Blogger Jen said...

I am so with you on the softclix! The last time I lost mine, I called the company, and they sent me another one for free! I was so excited. I even told them I didn't use their meters, and they still sent me one for free.
I don't use my pockets, there is a good reason for my purse (or backpack depending on the time of day)

Blogger George said...

I actualy have my very manly tote that holds my One touch. although my pockets are in use, I also use the very dudely Stud Satchel for glucose tabs and other handy stuff.
Sure I get funny looks but when I wear the strap of my masculine Murse like a gun strap across my chest, but it works so who cares right!

I also LOVE your blog dude. You rock especially when you have a sweet photo album. I love it!

Blogger Kevin said...

Thank you all for the compliments.

As you may (though likely not) recall, I've already got a much loved backpack that I carry with me at most times (see: Ode to a Rucksack).

And George: Am I reading you right? You carry a manly tote, a dudely Stud Satchel, AND a murse?!

You're quite the bag-man!

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