Machine Gun

• In case you haven't noticed, it's been a while since I posted anything.
• First and foremost, no babies (yet).
• We're creeping up on 35 weeks gestation.
• This is a good thing.
• 34 weeks was one milestone, now we're hoping to make it past 36 weeks.
• Meg's been on limited activity since 28 weeks.
• At 31 weeks we found out she was 1 cm dilated

  It's Crazy

  In case you fellas don't know what that means, it means her cervix is starting to open up. It's rather remarkable how pregnancy opens up all sorts of topics for regular conversation with just about any Tom, Dick, or Harry (although I really prefer Mannie, Moe, and Jack). I regularly find my self mentioning things like "vaginal delivery" or going into details of the status of my wife's cervix with folks I'm really not all that intimate with. Very strange.
  
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  and she was basically put on house arrest (i.e., just shy of bed rest, i.e., no more going to work).
  
• I think Jorge knows something is up and his world is in for a big change.
• He was escaping from our yard for a while and on a few occasions was out on the busy street we live on eating the remnants of a happy meal someone decided they were through with, so they tossed it out their window (naturally).
• Three Saturday's ago, I cracked a tooth eating an almond.
• No, not with any shell on it, just a plain ol' almond.
• I hadn't been to a dentist in a very long time.

  Unquantifiable

  Just way too embarrassed to admit how long it's actually been. I wouldn't say I have a fear of dentists, but the experience confirmed that going to the dentist just really isn't all that pleasant. And besides, with going to an endocrinologist every 3-4 months, and going to the ophthalmologist every 6 months, and a podiatrist annually, who can find time to fit regular dental appointments into their schedule?
  
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• I know, I know, with a sweet tooth like I have, I should get regular check-ups.
• But I do take good care of my teeth.
• I brush and rinse with Listerine daily, and even floss my teeth 2-3 times / week.
• Okay, maybe more like 1-2 times / week.
• But I'm certain that's better than average.
• Wait a minute, Kevin, since when was "average" an appropriate benchmark?
  
• Anyway, I was told I had two "hidden" cavities.
• Apparently, you can get cavities from the inside.
• They're only detectable with an X-ray (or in my case, with an almond).
• I was assured it was completely unrelated to diabetes.
• I was also told I might need two root canals and that this was going to cost me between $4,000 and $5,000.
• My dental insurance only covers "routine cleanings".
• That's not insurance; that's prepayment for services.
• Why is dental insurance even a separate item?
• Why doesn't it fall under the umbrella of regular ol' health insurance? (Cori?).
• After the cavities were drilled out, it turned out I only needed one root canal.
• I was taking a decent amount of pain-killers to kill the dull, persistent pain that lingered for a while after the cavities were drilled.
• I was hoping to put off the root canal for a little while.
  
• Jorge was still escaping from our yard.
• I woke up one morning early to go out and put up a chicken wire fence within the perimeter of our yard to hopefully prevent Jorge from escaping.
• The pain-killers from the night before had worn off.
• I experienced so much pain in my head that morning I thought I was going to pass out or vomit or both in the back yard.
• I scheduled my root canal for later that day.
• I LOVE ROOT CANALS.
• If they weren't so damn expensive, I'd seriously consider having each and every one of my teeth done.
• During the root canal, I kid you not, they put big ol' glasses on me with drop-down head phones and I watched a movie.
• I watched "Hitch".

  Shhhh

  I've got a soft spot for romantic comedies. And while the Lidocaine (not Novocaine, that's hardly used anymore 'cause there are too many allergic reactions, but most folks still refer to it as Novocaine) was taking effect, I watched the previews for "Bewitched" and laughed my ass off in the oral surgeon's (not dentist's) chair. Thankfully, "Hitch" wasn't all that funny (although I only got half-way through it), 'cause I don't think it would be very good if I was lying there giggling while the root canal was being performed.
  
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• As I was pulling up to my house immediately after my root canal and just hours after I'd put up the chicken wire fence that caused me so much pain, I noticed a minivan in the street a few doors up with its blinkers on.
• Sure enough, there was a kind lady (THANK YOU!) getting out of the car to pull Jorge off of "some sort of road kill" she said.
• I thanked her profusely and didn't feel the need to point out that it wasn't road kill, but in fact it was just a demolished, and mostly consumed Happy Meal.
  
• Until recently, we were in the market for a station wagon.
• Everyone has been telling us we *Need* a minivan.
• I think they're crazy.
• Five years from now, or if there's another kid in the mix, definitely minivan-ville.
• But not until then.
• No way, no how.
  
• Unfortunately, I've put most of our money for a new car into my mouth.
• Punt for now.
• We've had two baby showers (one for each, perhaps?).
• We have SO MUCH BABY STUFF IT'S CRAZY.
• Our friends and family are beyond generous, and we are INCREDIBLY grateful.
• Aside from a ceiling fan I've been struggling to install for almost two weeks now (I'm this close!), things are pretty calm.
• Ah, yes, the proverbial "calm before the storm".
  
• I don't like waiting
  
• It's got me antsy.
  
• And to make matters worse, people are repeatedly telling me things like "Your life is going to drastically change", "No matter what you think it will be like, you can't imagine what it will really be like", "It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's sooooo worth it", "You can't even imagine how tired you're going to be", "yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda" (I start to zone out after a while).
  
• How is one supposed to process all that?
  
• It's like someone telling you they're going to punch you but you don't know when, where, or how hard, and (get this) you're actually going to enjoy the experience.
  
• I don't like it.
• Let's get this party started already!