Hanging in there...

...but just barely.

It's been about 3 weeks since my last post, which is the longest it's been in between posts for me, I think.

I'm not sure when it started, I think sometime after college, but I rarely sleep through the night. I usually wake up once (sometimes twice) per night. I test my blood, go to the bathroom, have a sip of water, and go right back to sleep. Most mornings, it's like it never happened. It's routine. I think it has to do with my REM cycles or something. When I actually sleep straight through the night, it's noteworthy. This happens maybe once or twice a month, if I'm lucky.

When we found out that Megan was pregnant and that we were going to have twins, there were 6 weeks of keeping this news a secret because of social norms. This was incredibly draining, this penting up of this news. Rather than going through my normal nocturnal routine, I'd wake up, do my stuff, but then lie awake as my brain raced.

Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!
We're gonna have twins!
Holy Shit!

I was getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night (I'm used to a solid 8).
I was a zombie.
I felt like I was in training.

After making our big announcement in my previous post and coming out with our news in public with friends, family and co-workers, I've been sleeping a bit more. I've found that talking about my excitement and anxieties during the day does wonders for my slumber at night. This lack of sleep, however, has been replaced with physical exhaustion. I've been busy as a madman.

I've been focused on getting all the projects around the house done before the babies come. These are projects I've had on my "To Do" list since we moved into the house almost two years ago, but there's a certain urgency now. I know that if they don't get done in the next 6 months, they probably won't get done anytime in the next 6 years.

I apologize up front, but below is a data dump of my home projects that were keeping me up at night, but are now exhausting me:

• Two weekends ago, I pulled up a brick walkway and removed a narrow set of wood stairs.
• We have a concrete walkway and a wider (to schlep babies and gear up and down) concrete steps being poured this week (or whenever Mr. Weatherman gives an rain-free forecast).
• I got a quote from contractors to replace the wooden fence in the back year that is currently being held up with some old climbing ropes since it was blown over in a wind storm last year (too expensive -- will hopefully recruit some friend to help me do it sometime over the summer).
• I got a quote to have the gutters on our house replaced because when I cleaned them last fall, I noticed some of them pulling away from the roof and sections where rain water was pooling (gutters aren't sloped correctly). Also too expensive, but I may have to suck it up and have that done anyway.
• I got a quote from several contractors to build back up a retaining wall on our driveway that was rotting and I tore down last year, but have yet to properly build back up. Also too expensive and will hopefully find some friends to help me do this myself.
• Last week, I spent several nights pulling old insulation out of my attic with plans to re-insulate before it gets too hot.
• Stopped this for fear that I was actually yanking out insulation loaded with asbestos.
• Had insulation samples taken to be tested.
• Good news: no asbestos in my attic; Bad news: There're now $400 fewer dollars in my bank account.
• Since I got the "all clear" on the asbestos, I've been pulling the insulation out of my attic.
• Right now, there are 28 garbage bags full of old insulation on my curb, and I'm only about a third of the way through.
• In pulling out the old insulation, I've found a lot of electric work that is sub-code and will likely have to be delt with before I put the new insulation in.
• I've also found that some of the wood is rotting (exactly where the gutters are pulling away - go figure).
• Tonight, I replaced an HVAC boot in my dining room that the cat that used to live here actually thought was his/her liter box.
• I have a ceiling fan that needs to be replaced in the living room.
• My hardwood floors are cracking in numerous places.
• We need to get blinds for the babies' room.
• We need to paint the babies' room.
• We need to rearrange furniture to combine the office and guest room and get furniture for the babies' room.
• We need a new dishwasher.
• We need to get mulch delivered for the gardens.
• Seems unlikely that we'll even plant a vegatable garden this year.
• There's a dead tree on one side of our house that looks like it could fall onto our neighbors' house and needs to come down.

Oh the joys of homeownership!

Megan thinks I'm nesting and thinks it's cute.
I'm completely overwhelmed and feel like I'm falling apart.

On top of all these projects that have either been wearing me out physically, or weighing me down mentally, the hard drive on my home computer died last week.

NB:
It's not a matter of if your hard drive will die, but a matter of when.
Back up your data.
Often.

Needless to say, my diabetes has barely remained on my daily radar.
My averages have ticked up into the 150s / lower 160s.
I have no hopes of my next A1c being below 7.

I need to find a better balance.